revealing what happened

when i reached home i directly being told to chant in front of Gohonzon. than at night i told my story about how i got hallucination and i also told about the things happened when i try to sleep in front of Gohonzon before i went to kalimantan for the first time. at that time i annoyed and scared at the same time because i keep on having hallucination and i thought if this is because of ghost it will be gone when i sleep in front of Gohonzon so i when up stairs and try to sleep as i closed my eyes i said to my self if this is really a work of ghost now all of you will be gone so i can sleep well. but instead of being relieved

i being shocked by the fact that there is a sound in my mind and i heard the sound from my ears one guy said "wah look at this guy we are trying to help him but he said we are ghost." and suddenly the other guy laugh quite loud. after my mother heard about this he told me that it might be the guardian that protect lotus Sutra that try to help me.

I went to Mr Chen place in daily basis to received therapy for my eyes and there he keep give me an advice try to be open to people, try to smile and say hello to others. i admit at that time I'm a really2 introvert person that don't like to talk to others and keep on holding my own problem and burden to my self because i don't believe in others moreover i afraid to disturb others. i really thankful that he never gave up on me. until now i still trying to follow his advice maybe it's just my bad habit that i want to fix my own problem without giving a burden to other people which also happened to my father.

i keep on observing my father more after Mr Chen told me that if not later on i become like my father. i notice that it's true my father is perfectionist and introvert guy, he end up always blame others for his disability of fault and in my family case is my mother. she always get blamed on things that she don't do and on things that he can't achieved. my mother is the one that work to feed our family, without here i will not be what i'm today maybe i'm working as a shop keeper or even a construction worker. my father have a bad habit of drinking and he can't reflect on his own mistake which make me really sad nevertheless we ( my mother , brother and i) know that it's not his fault and we accept and love him for what he was which make me admire and respect my mother more than anyone else. she still stand by my father side though all hardship is on her.